Friday, November 23, 2012

I am surrounded by “smart” people.

I am surrounded by “smart” people.  True story. 

I live and work with a bunch of people who are so intelligent it’s frightens me sometimes, but I often wonder how they found their way out of the garage that morning.

I live with an Engineer, I work with Engineers, hell I’m even related to Engineers.  And trust me when I say, they are a different breed.  Most of the “smart” people I know could design a space ship, but also have difficulty operating the coffee machine at the office.

I can’t count how many times I’ve received a phone call at my desk around 8:30am by a frantic engineer saying “the coffee machine is broken, can you fix it”.  Seriously people, do NOT mess with an Engineer and his daily intake of caffeine.  I’ve seen people try and it never ends well. 

Now you wouldn’t think having to rescue an un-caffeinated PhD from the evil broken coffee machine would be that big of a deal right? Wrong!  Once again, Engineers without coffee isn’t pretty.  They tend to stare at you blankly until a complete thought forms in their brain, without caffeine…this could take awhile.

I also need to point out that we have two very large buildings and 10 coffee stations throughout them.  And for some reason, they all like to have issues between 8 – 9am on Monday mornings.  Since I do all the coffee ordering for our department (I won’t share with you the obscene amount of money the company spends on it), my co-workers seem to be operating under the delusion that I’m also the coffee machine repair woman.  Apparently I am Wonder Woman of the Keurig!  I  just need a cape, and maybe those cool bracelets.

Typically, the machines just need one minor adjustment to make them work properly again, but I have yet to meet one person I work with who’s tried this technique before calling me.  No, no…it’s much easier for them to call me pissed off because they’re late to a meeting and “the fucking coffee machine is broken again”. 

They just need to be unplugged and plugged back in.  That’s it.  Turn it off…turn it back on.  Wax on…wax off….come Grasshopper, let me train you in the ways of the Keurig.  Wax on…wax off… 

300 Geniuses….1 Wonder Woman of the Keurig.


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